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A tame joke

At the risk of reloading Ms. Hayden Hyphen Shaw's poison pen, I must confess it was not I who coined the name "Special Ed" regarding her spouse, Edward Shaw, Esq. That sobriquet was the handiwork of the local legal "community." Perhaps now that she has chosen to give it a larger audience, chances will improve for it being recognized as what it is, a tame joke. Surely she must recognize one of those when she sees one.

What she does see, and never fails to seize, is the chance to wrap herself in preening political correctness, in this case as patron saint of special education children. In the case of the Garfield sidewalk project, it was the 56 years worth of children attending that school while "miraculously" not being hit by a car. Those children were surely safer than anyone going there to vote Tuesday.

Meanwhile, of course, her husband busies himself calling everyone in town that disagrees with him a liar. That is when he is not busy defending his delinquent city council clients. The Shaws are adept at slipping their barbed writing past the nimble fact checkers in the editorial office, but the proper ideological code is almost always successful there. What the Shaws don't know is that they are practicing what psychiatrists refer to as "projection." Most crackpots practice it. Oops! There I go again. Bullying the crackpot community. (I'm just such an evil ogre. I don't know how I live with myself. It's a wonder I'm not a Washington Redskins fan.)

All of the special education kids I know have more tolerance, and better senses of humor, than the Shaws. One of my very best friends, a fellow with severe cerebral palsy, laughingly calls himself “America’s Gimp.” Shall I tell him he needs “shutting down,” Ms. Shaw?

GUY GREEN is a candidate for Brainerd mayor.