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Saturday, September 23, 2006
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Taking risk out of at-risk kids The Hoods are experts at accepting the toughest foster parenting challenges Staff Writer One of Linda Hood's favorite signs greets visitors who stop in at their rural Pillager home: "Raising teenagers is like nailing Jello to a tree."
Any parent will tell you that raising teens has its challenges, but Hood and her husband, Randy, have become experts in the field, particularly caring for at-risk youth.
In the past 12 years, the Hoods have taken in more than 150 teens as licensed foster parents. Although they are licensed through Cass County, they take in many Crow Wing County foster children as well and Linda Hood serves as president of the Crow Wing County Foster Care Association.
While foster parents are always needed in Crow Wing County, there is a particular need for foster parents who can effectively parent teenagers. For those who are up to the challenge of raising troubled teens, the rewards are worth it, the Hoods said.
"I can't imagine my life without these kids," said Linda Hood. "We love what we do. These kids are great. These kids are our lives."
Linda works in child support collections for Crow Wing County while Randy is a guardian ad litem for the Ninth Judicial District. They said they were feeling that "empty nest syndrome" after their sons left home and felt a calling to foster teens. One of their former foster girls nicknamed their home "The Last Chance Ranch," because for many of their foster children, their home is the last stop before being sent to a residential facility.
The Hoods are licensed for up to six foster children and mostly take teen girls. The Hoods provide a caring home, but one filled with clear, consistent rules and immediate consequences. One of their goals is to teach their foster children how to eventually learn to live on their own, to provide them with the life skills they may have not received at their biological home. The foster children have chores and earn an allowance.
They said sometimes there is a stereotype that foster children, particularly teens, are "bad kids." The Hoods said most of the time their foster children are good kids who may have made bad choices or they may have grown up in abusive or neglectful homes in which they had to be removed.
"I think you have to accept the kids from where they're at," said Randy Hood. "These kids are going to come up with tricks all the time. You won't see success right away. That's not how personalities change."
The Hoods have had many success stories. Many of their former foster children keep in touch and stop by to visit. They consider several of them as their own children. One of their former foster daughters had promised years ago she would paint a mural for Linda in their entry way. She returned last Sunday and painted the mural, which the Hoods are proud of.
But there are also the challenging moments. One of their foster sons murdered a man while he was away on a weekend home visit. Another time, two of their foster sons stole Linda's new car while she and four other foster teens were inside a local grocery store shopping. The boys sold her $30,000 car for $200 at a crack house, she said. The Hoods did get their car back.
"I've gotten my heart broken more than once but it's the nature of the beast," said Linda. "It hurts when they run away and get into trouble or have to be sent away."
Linda Hood said the Crow Wing County Foster Care Association is invaluable because it allows foster parents to come together once a month and talk about the situations they are dealing with. Starting next week, a get-together will be held for teens in foster care ages 12-18. Hood said the purpose of these gatherings is to allow teens to talk to other children their own age who are also experiencing life in a foster home environment.
North Homes Inc., a private nonprofit agency that licenses therapeutic foster homes in the Brainerd lakes area and several neighboring counties, also is in need of additional foster homes. They get referrals from counties within the state, including Crow Wing County. Trish Exsted, a North Homes Inc. foster care case manager based in Brainerd, said they need more homes for teens, but also for younger sibling groups and young adult moms and their babies.
Rick and Kim Johnson became foster parents seven months ago. When Exsted called the Johnsons and asked if they'd try fostering a young mom and her baby, they said they would.
"There is nothing else in the world that compares to this," said Kim Johnson. "To make a difference in young people's lives is so huge. What greater thing is that?"
The Johnsons have had three moms and their babies stay with them. Two of the moms decided to give up their babies for adoption. One of the babies, a 5-month-old girl, is being adopted by the Johnsons themselves.
Ashley, which is not her real name, and her 7-month-old daughter, Abby, also not her real name, have not only been the Johnson's greatest triumph, but they have become part of their family.
Ashley grew up badly neglected by her own biological mother in a home filled with abuse. She quit school at 17 because she said she had to financially support herself. When she arrived at the Johnson's home, Kim said Ashley was introverted and found it difficult to trust anyone. Like many of the other moms, she didn't have the skills to care for a baby or even to care for herself. Many times these young women lack self-esteem because of a lifetime of abuse and neglect and have had poor relationships with the men in their lives, said the Johnsons.
"If I had been raised in the environment like she was, I'd be the same way," said Rick Johnson. "It's all you know."
Now Ashley has a job and is working on earning her GED. The Johnsons have shown her how to give and receive love and made her feel she belongs as part of a family.
"This has been the greatest joy, besides my own girls coming into my life," Kim Johnson said, of watching Ashley bond with her daughter. "She's going to be a fantastic mom. They're glued together. It makes you cry to just watch this."
"I can't see one day without her," said Ashley, of her daughter. "Now I feel like I can do anything."
Ken and Kim Northenscold, Nisswa, have adopted five of their foster children and are in the process of adopting two others. They also have joint custody of another child whose mom is in jail. They have been foster parents for 14 years and have fostered more than 35 children.
"I can't imagine doing anything else," said Kim Northenscold. "There are the ones where we make a huge difference."
JODIE TWEED can be reached at jodie.tweed@brainerddispatch.com or 855-5858.
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