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Wednesday, November 1, 2006
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LEFT BEHIND Theresa Rardin busy raising her 4 young children while husband serves in Iraq Staff Writer With four young children and a husband in Iraq, 26-year-old Theresa Rardin has her work cut out for her.
Her husband of three years, Spc. Flannery Rardin of the Minnesota Army National Guard based in Camp Ripley, left for active duty in Iraq more than 13 months ago, leaving behind four children - Alivia, 9; Elizabeth, 7; Valerie, 5; and Cassidy, 13 months.
Flannery is on an 18-month tour in Iraq with Echo Company, 134th Brigade Support Battalion in which he serves as a mechanic.
Theresa, a stay-at-home mom who also does day care part-time in the family's northeast Brainerd home, struggles with her husband's absence but tries to maintain a sense of normalcy for her children.
"It's hard to be normal with the kids and the community while he's at war," she said. "Your life's on hold. It's really hard."
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Theresa Rardin, 26, cares for her four daughters, Valerie (left), Elizabeth, Cassidy and Alivia, while her husband, Flannery Rardin, is serving 18 months in Iraq. Brainerd Dispatch/Steve Kohls
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Theresa's day brightens nearly every day at about 3:45 p.m., when her phone rings and she hears Flannery's voice on the line. If she's not going to be home at that time, she forwards her calls to her cell phone to be sure not to miss an opportunity to talk to her husband.
"I've planned things around his call," she said. "That's the most important thing."
For his first three months in Iraq, Flannery was a guard in a tower, but he now works outside, under a canvas tent, as a mechanic at a base in central Iraq. Theresa said Flannery tells her that although he can often hear bombs and sirens, he feels relatively safe.
"He tells me he feels pretty safe, but I don't know if I can believe him," Theresa said, explaining he's probably trying to prevent her from worrying.
Theresa said the older children are scared for their dad and "they pray every night God keeps their daddy safe."
Flannery was home on leave recently and absorbed his much-missed family, friends and favorite foods - including Swiss cake rolls and milk - for two weeks. He got reacquainted with Cassidy, who he's only seen a few times since she was born three weeks after he left on active duty, and the rest of his family.
How to help
For ideas on how to support troops and their families, contact the Family Readiness Group at 825-4816 or e-mail BrainerdFRG@aol.com.
Theresa Rardin, Family Readiness Group leader, said many troops want magazines, movies, beef jerky, video games and music sent to them.
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In Iraq, Flannery lives in an air-conditioned room similar to a semi-trailer. The rooms are shared between two soldiers.
Theresa said it took her a couple months to get used to living without her husband, but it's still not easy. She keeps busy during the day caring for children and being a leader for the Family Readiness Group for military families and Girl Scouts. At night, though, reality sets in.
"During the day I stay occupied, but at night, those (frightening) thoughts are there," she said.
After she puts the children to bed at night, Theresa usually e-mails Flannery, sending encouraging messages and family photos.
She also sends her husband care packages once a week and is preparing to send a Christmas package to hopefully brighten his day.
Theresa said Christmas will be hard this year with Flannery being gone. Last Christmas, he was home on leave so he was able to spend the holidays with his family.
"This year there'll just be a void. I just have to try to make it as normal as possible for the kids," Theresa said. "If it were up to me, I'd crawl in a hole."
Around the holiday season especially, Theresa encourages people to call or visit people with a family member overseas.
"Acknowledge they're alone and give them a call," she said.
HEIDI LAKE can be reached at heidi.lake@brainerddispatch.com or 855-5879.
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