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Friday, November 21, 2008
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'A day of sorrow' Five years later, remembering Dru Staff Writer PARK RAPIDS - Nov. 22 is not an anniversary for Allan Sjodin.
It was on that day in 2003 that Sjodin's 22-year-old daughter, Dru, was abducted and killed by Alfonso Rodriguez Jr., a sex offender from Crookston.
But anniversaries are reminders of happy times and for Sjodin, Nov. 22 will always be the day his world and the worlds of countless others crumbled.
"Obviously that day carries a lot of meaning. That was just a disastrous day in our lives. It's one of those days we'll be bothered by forever," Sjodin said. "There are people who will say, 'Well it's an anniversary.' I say no, there are no anniversaries. Just like some people say closure. I don't use that word either. To me there isn't. I don't understand the word. I think it's for people who aren't in that frame of mind or in that problem, or have to deal with the problem. Closure doesn't happen in my mind.
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Allan Sjodin's home is dotted with memories of his daughter, Dru Sjodin, who was murdered in 2003. Along with a bedroom door carved with one of her paintings, this window in a door leading to a porch has been etched with another of her paintings. The reminders of his daughter are placed into a log home reflecting Allan Sjodin's love of the outdoors. "It's a bachelor shack," he said. Brainerd Dispatch/Steve Kohls
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"It is a day of sorrow, far from an anniversary. But it's just a day to me. For me, there's a Drusie second every second."
Dru, a 2000 Pequot Lakes High School graduate and a student at the University of North Dakota in Grand Forks, was last seen leaving her job at a Grand Forks mall. Her body was found the next April in a ravine near Crookston where Rodriguez had been living with his mother. Authorities said she had been beaten, raped and stabbed.
A federal jury in North Dakota convicted Rodriguez for Sjodin's kidnapping and killing and sentenced him to death.
In the years since, Sjodin has found a retreat along the shores of Upper Bottle Lake near Park Rapids. On land he bought in 1985, Sjodin started building a log home in 2003. Work came to a halt when Dru disappeared.
Sjodin retired from his job as a construction manager in the Twin Cities in May of 2007 and has spent his time finishing his home, which reflects his love of the outdoors as well as honors the daughter he lost. One door of the home features a carving of one of Dru's paintings of a tree. The glass in another door is etched with another of Dru's paintings.
"I just keep plugging away," on the house, Sjodin said. "Some days I don't do a darn thing. Some days I don't have the ambition to do anything. That's part of that whole agony that can come upon you, and it does, too. Some days I just don't function well. When that happens I just let it fly. I almost feel guilty I don't do something. Almost. But the next day I get up and get working again."
He fishes open water and through the ice and is a deer hunter. He spends the summer enjoying afternoon pontoon rides and just recently pulled the docks off the lake. Though he wasn't able to get out deer hunting opening weekend, he's spotted a 14-point buck roaming the woods near his home. It's in those same woods just outside his front windows where he's watched turkeys, bobcats and bear. It's true jack pine country, he said.
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Allan Sjodin doesn't like to think of Nov. 22, the day his daughter Dru Sjodin was abducted and killed, as an anniversary but rather as the day his world crumbled. Still, he wants to keep Dru's plight forefront in people's minds so others won't suffer a similar fate. Brainerd Dispatch/Steve Kohls
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Sjodin also occupies his time with a close circle of friends and family, both on Upper Bottle Lake and in the Twin Cities. He visits Dru's mother and stepfather, Linda and Sid Walker, about once a year at their Pequot Lakes home. He looks forward to spending time when he can with his son, Sven, his daughter-in-law Melinda and their four children, and he also keeps in regular contact with Dru's former boyfriend, Chris Lang, who lives in the Twin Cities.
Unlike the Walkers, Sjodin said he's a different kind of advocate. While he is proud of Linda Walker's work to get Dru's Law enacted - a law that requires convicted child molesters to be listed on a national Internet database and face a felony charge for failing to update their whereabouts - he prefers to act as a sort of backup voice when needed.
"(Linda Walker) goes above and beyond and it's not easy, I'll tell you," Sjodin said. "It's very honorable what they do but it's not me."
Sjodin attended the Rodriguez trial, from jury selection to his death sentence, which is being appealed. He agreed with the jury's decision for the death penalty because Rodriguez was given the option to spare his life if he led authorities to Dru's body.
"We gave him an out and he decided he was above us," Sjodin said. "That was his whole life. He never ever said he had done anything wrong with anyone and he had so many victims. His problems have carried him right to where he's at now."
Coming Sunday
Dru Sjodin's mother, Linda Walker, and her stepfather, Sid Walker, reflect on the five-year anniversary of their daughter's abduction and murder.
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What Sjodin fought against during the trial, and what he fights against now, is focus being taken away from Dru. He recalls being asked why he didn't speak out more during Rodriguez's trial. He also remembers keeping friends in check about why they were there.
"I'm her voice and I tell everybody we're her voice. Our duty is to go out and make sure this doesn't happen to anyone else. It's not just my duty, it's everybody's," Sjodin said. "Sure I could be selfish and say all kinds of crazy things and do all kinds of crazy things and in the end who am I hurting? The person I'm trying to help, so I just can't go that way, I just refuse. It doesn't make sense. If you start to make it about you then we've lost."
As time wears on, Sjodin said he still has moments of sorrow but tries to stay positive. He also said keeping a sense of humor is critical. Humor, he said, tends to give a person a different attitude. If he was crabby and miserable, he'd get out of it exactly what he put into it.
"My brothers will confirm this - I'm so open-minded my brain fell out," he joked. "I used to have a problem, I was conceited, but I overcame that problem so now I'm perfect."
Humor aside, Sjodin said he realizes he will have to live with the ugly details of Dru's death but he tries not to dwell on them.
What he won't do, though, is let Dru's fate be forgotten as time and memory fades.
"There are times when, for our emotional stability, we do have to stage ourselves outside the box a little bit," Sjodin said. "I recognize the value of putting blinders on once in awhile, but important issues can't just be swept under the table. Everyone in society has to stand together and fight."
MATT ERICKSON may be reached at matt.erickson@brainerddispatch.com or 855-5857.
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