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Put an ear to the TOP 20 MUSIC: 'TOP 20 VIDEO COUNTDOWN' Entertainment Editor Every once in awhile, a music snob should dip a toe (or better yet, an ear) into the mainstream, just to see if there's anything decent that snuck in. With that philosophy in mind, I tuned in to the latest "Top 20 Video Countdown" on VH1.
Although it's not as bad as I feared, the current top 20 reminds me of how incredibly difficult it is to make that band-to-listener connection that signifies pop greatness. I found one song that clearly fit the bill (by Maroon 5) and another that almost does (by Leona Lewis).
At least the other 18 videos provided something to make fun of.
20. Alicia Keys, "Teenage Love Affair" - Bizarrely, the title characters are played by Alicia and an actor, both of whom are much older than teenagers. At least they're doing something different from a standard "singer playing a piano" video.
19. Ferras, "Hollywood's Not America" - This standard "singer playing a piano" video finds Ferras interspersed with shots of a Midwest girl who moves to California "to become a centerfold." "So long, put your blue jeans back on/Remember, Hollywood's not America," Ferras warns in a country-tinged voice. He's being too hard on Hollywood: The Midwest shares blame for embracing the disposable aspects of entertainment - including many songs on this list.
18. Gavin DeGraw, "In Love with a Girl" - DeGraw finds the near-impossible romantic ideal ("Now someone understands me") in the form of Kristin from "Laguna Beach." Indeed, they seem like a good match. This is one of those odd songs that is undeniably well-structured and catchy, yet it wears out its welcome after one listen.
17. Usher featuring Young Jeezy, "Love in this Club" - VH1 played only a brief clip from this video, which is good because I can avoid writing something that will expose my complete ignorance of Usher's oeuvre.
16. Colbie Caillat, "Realize" - I'm sure the musak for this song is already in heavy rotation at your local grocery store. Fortunately, the soft hook is easy to block out: "If you just realized what I just realized/That we'd be perfect for each other É"
15. OneRepublic, "Stop and Stare" - Again, VH1 didn't show the full video. It must be hard to fit 20 three-minute videos into two hours.
14. Maroon 5, "Won't Go Home Without You" - The only truly great song on this list captures that fleeting feeling of hope: "It's not over tonight/Just give me one more chance to make it right." Frontman Adam Levine stares into the camera and over-articulates as per the Fine Young Cannibals' video for "She Drives Me Crazy" (which should precede this song on a mix disc of longing). In the video, Levine doesn't get the girl, which contradicts the lyrics and leaves me unsatisfied, but it's still an incredibly catchy tune.
13. Mariah Carey, "Touch My Body" - This video dropped precipitously from No. 1 last week, and it will probably be off the list next week. Perhaps the voting public had a collective epiphany that this song is terrible. Remember the days when Mariah made it onto this chart for quality songs like "Always Be My Baby" instead of for her skimpy wardrobe?
12. Jordin Sparks with Chris Brown, "No Air" - This soft clubber would sound best when you're only barely aware of it - perhaps in a loud, crowded restaurant. A close examination reveals that Jordin and Chris just repeat "How'm I s'posed to breathe with no air" over and over.
11. Lifehouse, "Whatever it Takes" - Lead singer Jason Wade's rough-but-melodic voice sounded awesome on 2001's "Hanging By a Moment." Here, it sounds exactly the same, yet somehow more contrived. But the video certainly gets bonus points for including a spontaneously exploding watermelon.
10. Leona Lewis, "Bleeding Love" - Heartache is a simple theme, but the boatload of emotion in Lewis' voice makes this future karaoke staple work. It should follow the Tony Rich Project's "Nobody Knows" (1996) on a tear-streaked mix disc. Hearing Lewis sing about being cut open, it makes me hope the cab from which she is wistfully peering forth is bound for the hospital.
9. The Bravery, "Believe" - The chorus is catchy enough, with chugging guitars backing the latest rock singer who just wants something to believe in.
8. Yael Naim, "New Soul" - Naim sounds similar to Feist, but instead of "1, 2, 3, 4," her chorus is "la-la-la, la, la, la." Because Naim isn't a sexpot like most women of the top 20, I view this video as the equivalent of an independent film. That's not to say a bit of coin wasn't thrown into it: Naim's paintings come to life, and by video's end, everyone is playing their instruments - including a piano! - while floating along a river.
7. Mary J. Blige, "Stay Down" - Blige, wearing a variety of fur coats, is backdropped by leftover footage from Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth." Global warming is nothing to joke about, so I'm not going to say I hope Blige (and her music) floats away on the next ice chunk that breaks off.
(At this point, the countdown took a break to unveil Rihanna's "Take a Bow." It's not nearly as catchy as "Umbrella" or even "Please Don't Stop the Music," but Rihanna still looks hot, so this will certainly be voted onto the countdown next week.)
6. Jason Mraz, "I'm Yours" - Mraz is one of those guys who tops sales charts even though you've never met anyone who has purchased one of his albums or singles. This love ditty is so blandly breezy that even Jack Johnson and Ben Harper are yawning.
5. Madonna featuring Justin Timberlake & Timbaland, "4 Minutes" - This forcefully skewed video, propelled by the jittery kinetics of Timbaland's riff, finds Madonna and Justin chased around by a geometric creature from a sci-fi movie. The song includes "Madonna" as a repeated lyric. Take note: Unless your name is Jimmy Ray, this tactic doesn't work.
4. The Last Goodnight, "Stay Beautiful" - How does a band that nobody's heard of debut at No. 4? "Don't stop/Don't change/Stay beautiful" ... and try not to fall asleep. The Last Goodnight seems skilled enough to create a better song, so don't dismiss the band completely.
3. matchbox twenty, "These Hard Times" - Early in its career, matchbox twenty displayed raw genius on pain-drenched relationship songs like "Back 2 Good. But while I'm glad these guys are still in the mainstream 12 years later, they are a little too mainstream at times. This inoffensive-but-bland ballad is a far cry from the rocking previous single, "How Far We've Come."
2. Natasha Bedingfield, "Pocketful of Sunshine" - Bedingfield understands that if you don't have the hook ("Sunshine" is no "Love Like This" or "These Words"), you gotta put some effort into the video. The perky blonde breaks away from her secretarial job to float away on the petals of an oversized flower. It's a refreshing contrast to the typical top 20 video, in which the singer (or a stand-in actor) chases down the object of his or her affections, interjected with shots of a band playing in an otherwise empty room.
1. Daughtry, "Feels Like Tonight" - Or on an empty rooftop with a baseball-stadium stanchion behind it. I feel bad saying this, because Daughtry is clearly pouring out every emotional moment of his whole life, but this song is the definition of disposable. "There's nothing that I want to do/But try to make it up to you" - top 20 singers are always apologizing for something. But why should they? Frontman Chris Daughtry fared well in the 2006 season of "American Idol" and used that as a springboard to be just another boring, top-selling rocker. For better or worse (I say worse), he's giving people what they want.
JOHN HANSEN, entertainment editor, may be reached at john.hansen@brainerddispatch.com or 855-5863.
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