In a whirlwind week of weirdness, Brainerd's City Administrator quirkily ended his manic months of service here, saying "things have changed in [his] personal life...allowing [him] to retire."
His plans include going on an archeological dig.
Well, heck, Mr. Wussow, you could do that right here in Brainerd! We've got one going on the northeast edge of town. It may even contain fossilized remains of "journolistis investigatus," a stoutly spined species prevalent here in the Pre-Fluoride epoch.
The old dam/archeological site is slightly unstable, and all very hush-hush, but what's a little riskiness and mystery to a man whose life will now be one big adventure!
Our City Council reacted instantly. President Gary Scheeler lamented that we've "lost a year." He hopes the same "consulting firm" that gave us the venturesome Mr. Wussow will supply another solid prospect by spring, which should be an interesting time at the local archeological dig as well.
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Gary is a huge dig fan. At least he was, before complaining lately that he hasn't been told anything about what's happening there.
Welcome to our world, Gary!
Interestingly, Scheeler also shut down a business in the past week. (This time, ironically, it was his own!) His explanation was confusing, but at least he was willing to give the reporter his age.
He had all the awards to show he was quite successful, despite revealing his sometimes whimsical decision-making. He bought his house here sight unseen, and was surprised to discover it was on a lake. Impetuous, these men of adventure!
I doubt the citizenry has to worry. The archeological dam site will probably be fine after a few more million dollars. And Gary assures us someone "could sell rocks" at the location he will pass to new owners.
In this town, I'd wager a fellow could.
Guy Green
Brainerd
