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Reader Opinion: Septuagenarian is past his prime

One morning last week I was perusing the Brainerd Dispatch when I encountered a section entitled "In Our Prime." As I was assuming this was designed for some strapping young folks in the twenties or thirties, I gave it a cursory glance. Imagine m...

One morning last week I was perusing the Brainerd Dispatch when I encountered a section entitled "In Our Prime." As I was assuming this was designed for some strapping young folks in the twenties or thirties, I gave it a cursory glance. Imagine my horror when I realized it was designed for me and other doddering old folks like me.

I am now a septuagenarian. As such I am far past my prime. Several of my joints hurt, I have a pharmacopeia on the bathroom counter, I don't hear well, and I don't see all that well either. What if this were my prime? Good grief, what a basket case I would have been in my thirties.

While surfing the Internet I ran across a song entitled "I Just Don't Look Good Naked Anymore." Now there is a dose of truth for you. In what was really my prime, I didn't walk around the house naked for fear of steaming up the mirrors. These days I avoid that pastime for fear younger people would peek in the windows and see me; they'd be leaping off the Mississippi bridge like lemmings to avoid what lies ahead.

Even the guys in the Cialis commercials are younger than I.

Let's get real, folks. I'm old. I earned this age as a result of luck and medical science. I well might have succumbed to some heinous disease of unfortunate mishap had not those things been true.

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My plea is to entitle that section something more realistic. To call it "In Our Prime" is an insult to me and every other old person who knows full well those years are well in the past. And if any of you addresses me as "young man," be prepared to be whacked with my satchel of pills.

Lawrence Severt

Brainerd

Related Topics: BRAINERD DISPATCH
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